Ramblings

Remember…?

This post was originally titled ‘Untitled’. As I was typing it out and adding a new part, I figured out a name. This post is about remembering the tiny moments with that one person who brightens your day, even if they don’t know it.  I’m going to put this spoken word poem thing under a cut since it is kind of long. 

Continue reading

Standard
Ramblings, Writings

I Told Someone….

And it feels good.

A friend of mine asked me last night for relationship advice, and while we were talking, trying to help him, I told him about how I like one of my awesome guy friends (the one I keep posting about) and I feel bad. Which, he pretty much has the same dilemma.

But it’s nice that I finally told someone. Feels like I don’t have to keep hiding it, someone knows and I can talk to them about it.

Hopefully it doesn’t come back and bite me in the butt….

Standard
Life, Open Letters, Ramblings, Writings

“Dreams can come true if believed”

A year ago I went to my first open mic night on my campus, at the urging of some friends, and because a good friend was performing. (The song he performed contains the title of this post.)

Point is: I just went to the last open mic of the year and it got me thinking about this past year and how much has changed. Mostly all in good ways. But this will probably (definitely) end up as an open letter. About him. Go figure.

This past year has been absolutely amazing and I have loved every second of it. Honestly, I’m going to miss this dorm room and my roommate from this year, because she’s one of the most awesome people ever.

And then there’s him. I can’t help but feel all I’ve done is fall even more in love with him (I’ve given in to the fact that I love him, what else could it be?) because he’s always on my mind and every second I start to feel like I’m getting over him, he appears and I fall right back down that rabbit hole. Every time I hear a song that we’ve sang together in his car, at the top of our lungs, any time I listen to the secret playlist I have of music he’s sang or reminds me of him. It all leads back to him in a way I feel.

Everytime I hear a guitar strumming softly, hear the clanking of his bag as he enters or leaves the dorm, going up to his room or leaving, the sound of a longboard hitting the pavement as I wander campus. Heck, the sound of a longboard going by. I hope every time that it’s him, and I can’t find a way for me to let go and move on. I just keep getting sucked back in.

I mean, yes I would love if something happened between us one day, maybe that’s what keeps me hanging on, that tiny ember of hope, but it’s not fair to anyone around me. I feel like everyone knows, possibly even him, just no one says anything. So I keep waiting. For nothing it seems. So why?

Just thoughts from tonight thinking about the year that’s passed and all the crazy things that have happened.

Standard
Open Letters, Writings

Are Titles Good?

Or labels, or anything defining us to a certain group or making us feel a certain way?

Because sometimes they make us feel like nothing.

Because really, what is “normal”? Something made up by society so we don’t feel like we’ll ever fit in, ever? Was there ever a normal?

I don’t know, but I wish all labels would just disappear, they just make life difficult.

That was kind of a lead in for the rest of this, but all are things to consider.

I know about your, well let’s just call it a blog. I guess that’s what it’s like to you. A place for you to vent, where no one you know will see it. But I know about it.

What do I have to do to get it through your head how important you are to me? If I have to straight up tell you I will, even though I’m terrified that it’ll push you away from me.

The other night when we were out and you were so happy that you “did this. I brought all these people together to have fun and eat,” god, I was so proud of you for discovering how important you were to people and that people like being around you. Seeing you smile and laugh and acknowledge that fact was so nice, it made me so happy to see you that way.

And then this post. One day, hopefully not too late, I will tell you that you are the only person that cheers me up when I’m having a bad day, how important you are to me, that I’m with you through whatever, that I will support you til the end. One day.

For now I’ll just keep being here for you when you need me and being a friend. Maybe one day you’ll know.

Standard