Ramblings, Uncategorized

“I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs…”

“…but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me”

– The (Shipped) Gold Standard – Fall Out Boy

How can you admit to yourself that you love someone, yet you can’t accept it? Am I making excuses? Is it because I found the one thing about him that bugs me, the one thing that started after I met him that probably isn’t changing anytime soon? But I know if he stopped, I (might, probably, if I have one of those stupid brave moments) would tell him how I feel and risk it all, just because he would then be pretty much the guy I dream of.

All I know is that I want to tell him I love him and I’m proud of him, but I’m scared too because I’m afraid it’ll cross the invisible line we have established or it’ll make things weird between us.

But I do and I am. Just need to tell him…somehow. One day.

Ramblings, Writings


They say that dreams are a representation of fears and hopes, deep inside you where you normally wouldn’t recognize them or bring them to light.

I had a dream last night where I was trapped in an area with someone who was attempting to kill me. I don’t remember much else, but I do remember who the killer was – one of my best friends. Which actually makes sense when I think about it.

This friend I have written about on here before. I constantly worry about him, but it’s only because I care about him and love him. This dream could be interpreted that I’m going to end up worrying myself so much about him that I’ll physically make myself sick or that being worried about him is going to stress me to a breaking point if I don’t talk to him or a close friend about how I feel about him and how much I worry about him.

Or maybe it was just a really weird dream, added to my collection of weird dreams lately.

Just rambling, interesting thoughts about dreams.